Friday 27 June 2014

Adagiri Adams 3



ADAM- /a:dam/- noun -> the strong macho body of a homo sapien male


So here we are,ready to leave for Ghana,Uncle hameed suggested we pack just few clothes since we would only be gone for the weekend,but obviously,me being me,I packed a little more -everything,more boxers and briefs,cologne and anti-perspirant (no one appreciates seeing those unsightly sweat patches),batteries for my digital camera, my very big towel,sunshades to protect my peepers from the harsh rays of the rather infamous ghanaian sun,including some sunscreen,I don't want to come back home looking burnt ,yeah! You can roll your eyes all you want,going on a flight to a resort in ghana? Forget what awaits me there,this is pretty much a big deal for me,lol



Oh,aside all those,I also took along,my fedora hat, packed tank tops with plunging decolletage in four different colours and floral print shorts, - yea,I love to show off skin

I was feeling giddy like am going on a holiday to a tropical paradise

"Oh my! Maj? Where are you going with all these!"

Uncle Hameed gasped at seeing my fat luggage,I smiled assuring him all are necessities,he sighed,my brothers exchanging furtive glances,restraining themselves from chastising me so as not to ruin the happy moment,Mom was looking rather long-faced as we moved towards the car

"Common mom,its just till sunday and we would be back,you could use the alone time to reflect and meditate,remember we talked about and googled materials on yoga and bikram" I said with a smile,she returned my smile with a dry one

"You should try it mom! And tell me all about the experience when I get back" I urged her,smiling to raise her spirits

We hugged mom and entered the cab which would take us to the airport,waving at mom until she was out of sight


FRIDAY 1900

I relax in the back of the car en route to Nnamdi azikiwe airport,the international wing under a blur of highway lights, stretching out my feet, As we slow to a stop for a snarly traffic jam, I allow myself a small interior smile, thinking that this might be one of the only stationary moments of the whole weekend

Oh! I failed to mention that I checked up the resort's website and from what I saw,hmmmn! Palpitations seized me now that I could reflect,trying to figure out how I could escape the whole activities and just sit in the resort's chalet sipping margaritas

We went through the whole airport checks and all, and boarded the plane...see ya later nigeria

ZOOOM!

SATURDAY 07:00

Despite the red eye from sleeping on the flight and a stop-off at the popular mall, I'm well rested,well fed and definitely better acquainted with the Ghollywood oeuvre,we left the airport boarding a waiting cab and onwards home to Uncle Hameed's house admiring a mix of the region's fabled wooden and colonial stone architecture through the car window on the way,spanning out across the sprawling suburbs to mountains of green velvet riven with dark furrows.



SATURDAY 10:00


We had a nice time with our little second cousins since we arrived until now,I took lots of selfies with them and sadly we had to say our goodbyes,prepping to leave for the resort.


Amidst tearful hugs,we tore ourselves away from tight hugs,entering Uncle Hameed's wrangler jeep,(hmmmn! Perfect for adventure trips ) And on our way to the Last resort


SATURDAY 12:45

After two hours plus of driving through bustling city and through the suburbs and plains of the area,we arrived at the heart of a prehistoric jungle within the Chitwan national park,my heart skipped several beats, "Oh lord! Just guide my way through" I prayed inside of me

Entering the gates,the buildings and chalets,gardens and yea,the raging river that I'd seen on the resort website all looked familiar now,who says pictures don't lie?this place looks more intimidating than the pictures portrayed yet quite calming at the same time,winds whistling from tall trees

We were well welcomed and straight off taken on a cart to an enveloping layers of land with green meadow,coming face to face with about five elephants,its bigs ears flapping and with intimidatingly big tusks, normally I'd be nervous at the prospect of mounting and steering such a colossal beast - a history of being the one who always draws the crazy,mean-streak horse has left me wary

But with my mind steeling itself for all the climbing and the swinging,I quickly brush it aside,though really really scared,thoughts of the beast pulling me off its back with its nose and flinging me off rasped through my mind,but the guide, laughing reassuringly calmed me down,my brothers who were perhaps scared to death inside did a good job of not displaying an ounce of fear

Calmly perched on the elephants' back,I shut my eyes,squealing with excitement,my brothers kept asking me to shut up and not frighten the elephants,the guide and uncle hameed having a good laugh

The ride feels like sitting in a gently mobile armchair with a treetop view,I kept praying to God the elephant doesn't fling its nose up since I was so close to its neck

After the soothing elephant ride,we had green tea with a slice of lime immersed inside it with some local sweeteners added,it was so calming I felt dizzy


SATURDAY 15:00

I've had a quick bath,had lunch of kwanzaa,a meal made of fried flour with lots of onions and minced meat heavily laced with pepper sauce,quite delicious,I fished out my phone,taking selfies with everyone,asking staffs and locals who live nearby questions about their history and living,it is simply my nature to do all these,my brothers were beginning to get irritated with me, as they said,my gesticulations, spurned out of excitement is making my effeminate gestures quite pronounced.

"Am I embarrassing you guys?" I asked, pulling them aside,my facial muscles tightening into a frown,stuffs like this pisses me off,its hard enough taking bullshits from strangers and supposed acquaintances but also my brothers? No way,I won't

Karl was the first to speak

"Seriously Maj,stop getting overtly excited, blushing and giggling,it makes you look so...so.."

"Sisi...?" I helped him out,ready to snap

"No no,Maj,no way,all am saying is,try and comport yourself" he said,QT and Hamz looking on,trying to sound mitigating but I considered it a subterfuge to avoid my drama...yeah! Everyone could use a little drama,trust me,it comes handy

"What's going on here"

Uncle hameed enthused,walking towards us

"We are fine...just catching our breaths for a while"

"Alright,there's more to do" Uncle hameed said,gesturing for us to come along

"This resort is quite huge" Uncle hameed said on his way, "so we would take a short helicopter trip to view the whole resort from the sky"

"Heli gini?" I didn't know when that escaped my lips, totally surprised,my brothers prancing around in excitement,obviously the trip promises to get even more exciting


The sounds of the helicopter blades whirring very fast,I held my hat on firmly with my hand and bending down abit to avoid our heads being severed from our necks by the long blades,along with my brothers,we went to board the chopper,as we ascend higher and higher,it wasn't long before my breath starts to shorten as I see in dramatic aerial perspective,a series of sweeping gorges and canyons,Karl and Hamz kept whispering "wow"

We make a brief stop by the bank of the raging river Bhote koshi to ride some whitewater,my heart racing really fast now,the guide must have sensed am the easily scared type

We got ready,life jacket,check,helmet,check,hesitating,I climbed on the blown-up ballon boat,we started on our cruise,I thought I was going to die
Military-style shouts of "paddle", "stop" and "hold on" renting the air,I couldn't paddle anymore,I kept trying to wipe water off my face,finally, we make it through a series of whirlpools and rapids,speed thrillingly past high greens banks of exotic trees,waving villagers and dilapidated bridges half nestled in the glacially cold water

SATURDAY 16:30

As if the whole cruise thingy wasn't enough,we are set,yet again on another adventure,am still yet to recover from the whitewater rafting, we arrive at the start-point of a rather daunting,infamous footbridge,a suspension model designed in switzerland and a far longer walk than it seems- is not for those with vertigo or paper hearts particularly as you're entering the exclusive gonzo adventure,I begged to be excluded from this but Uncle hameed gave me a cold look which says "you dare not"

"I don't wanna die" I whimpered,"am very much afraid of heights" I said shaking

My brothers had a look of disappointment on their faces but I couldn't care less,I can't do this

"Aren't you a man?" The guide said,enunciating each words with his thick ghanaian accent,I turned to look at him,giving him the i-don't-talk-to-the-help look, he didn't mind and gesturing,asked me to come to him,I didn't budge,he came to me,his strong black arms seizing me,I was totally dumbfounded,he turned his back to me and backing me,he pinned my hands under his armpits,I was expecting my brothers to do something as always,but no,they were laughing,along with my cousin,I was beyond enraged

He moved to the bridge and moving slowly,I didn't know which is worse,moving with my legs or being fastened on someone's back,I shut my eyes,praying to God,the guide's stale smell disturbing my breathing,he would occasionally jerk frightenly like we want to fall and I would scream,calling the name of God,it was gut-wrenching!

Finally we crossed the bridge and the guide dropped me,he kept teasing me about being such a weakling

"If your younger brother can do it,why can't you,you should be ashamed" sounding off with a zinging note,I swallowed my pride and chose not to be insultive

SATURDAY 18:05

The tented camp that will be home for the night is in a verdant glade with a stone-ringed covered plunge pool and a well-stocked bar nearby for reviving the senses but all I have time for is look as we're soon back out over the bridge with slightly gritted teeth to experience adventure number three: the world's highest swing (to me),no twee wood,contraption this,you sit on the edge of the bridge while a harness is strapped firmly around your middle


The waiting aspect is by far the most uncomfortable aspect,dicing with your own life tends to be more excruciating if you're still sitting still contemplating it rather than taking some- any- action. The swing's configuration and the angle of the rope mean your only exit is feet first,so you simply plop off the middle of the bridge like a suicidal lemming, full five seconds later,you're still in a total free-fall, 100m or so of more straight-down before you start a 260m-wide arcing swing sweeping through the bottom reaches of the canyon, the experience is so deeply hair-raising that it almost doesn't feel real,it is akin to being in your own private imax cinema casually hurtling towards jagged rocks at more than 150km an hour,somehow slightly detached because surely no one actually let's you do this in real life,perhaps the detachment's prefarable to the very present and real alternative view- that of being just a faulty-rope snap away from a messy death

SATURDAY 18:10

My plunge turns out to be merely an adrenaline amuse-bouche for what's next,this is after praying fervently,I was first to go despite protesting against this,I told my brothers to tell my mom I love her as I got fastened on the rope,lol

The descent is like a gate to another world,a quasi-subterranean one bristling with the intensity and sound of sheer rock and cascading water,I'm dressed in a wet-suit,a burly harness and safety helmet,looking a little like a seal wearing a large nappy,I'm now ready to face the water of the Khola canyon,my brothers cheering me on,giving me an air of being a man in charge,hoofing air and prancing all over the place but still death-scared inside me

We spend several minutes getting safety briefing,taking a few jumps into shallow-ish pools and a few slides down mini-couloirs,revelling in this glorious adult water park.

I edge down over a precipice and praying so hard,I couldn't do it,the guide came and pushed me,I screamed,my voice echoing through the forest and reverberating back,even Hamz screamed,QT and Karl gasped in horror

Suspended in the middle of a waterfall,for 30m or so,I skid and slink down,buffeted by the falling water,until I land in an exhilarated heap at the bottom,tearful and whimping,checking myself to ensure all parts of me is in place

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" Hamz shouted down

My brothers obviously scared now witnessing how mine went,I'd been pulled up now and feel emboldened to tackle anything,they tried to back out but I won't have any of that

"If I can do it,surely you can" I fumed

They were secured on the rope,helmet in place and off they leap,I laughed my heart out,it was such a funny sight seeing them screaming in fright

Afterwards,we had dinner of lobster with peppersoup and juice,I couldn't eat the lobster,Uncle hameed noticed how I would eat a little lobster and flushed it down with much juice,wait for a while,worrying about the next forkful of the sea creature,I didn't want to be rude and decline what was given me,just as mom taught us,Uncle hammed saved me from my predicament and told me if I can't eat it,I ought to have said so and order something else,I heaved a sigh of relief,sharing furtive glances with brothers who were also in the same predicament,I ordered full fried chicken and it should be piecesed for me,salad on the side with fried chips and ketchup,ah! I was glad

My brothers couldn't stomach it again and spoke out,laughter escaped my lips,sputtering chewed chicken on Uncle hameed who was directly opposite me,I quickly apologized

"You guys don't eat lobster? Gosh! Don't you guys go out? Eat,try new food?huh?" Uncle hammed said disappointingly,we apologised,telling him we are rarely let out to try fun things,he shook his head sadly and continued digging in on his lobster

SUNDAY 15:00

After a relaxing sunday going to spa and calming frayed and tensed nerves, we are ready to depart for home,it has been such a roller-coaster of a trip but an experience that would stay with me forever,we thanked Uncle hammed for his hospitality for the whole trip and I felt a mixture of feelings about leaving but we had to go

Sitting in my window seat B2 business class section of my our flight,I smiled..."Ghana,I would be seeing you again" I thought

"Please fasten your seat belt,ready for take off" the pilot announced and off we go

SUNDAY 20:25

We've been home,mom wasn't home,when she came back,she was so excited to see us,we hugged and told us she went to the salon

"How was the trip?tell me everything"

She asked excitedly

"Whew!" I sighed

"Where do I start?"


KEEP UP

35 comments:

  1. This is one of my fav episode on kuwda,lol,I love the whole adventure,I felt carried along
    Imelda

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  2. One word, WOW! Did all this happen?I have goose pimples all over me,lol

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  3. Is maj whipping out his diva streak?

    /ogunsanya from ondo/

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  4. Ah! Hahahahaha,na enjoyment galore una dey so ooo,though the whole experience is quite chilling but talking about it is so much fun,welcome back guys,so whew! What happens now

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  5. Ah! Leaping from a height,plunging deep into a waterfall held by a rope is dangerous,am guessing the essence of the title is to show off the adagiri brothers' strength in tackling the tasks in the resort,but all the same,dangerous,glad you guyscame back in one piece
    Omaha

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  6. Big words, mitigate, subterfuge,oeuvre,please who knows their meaning oo
    *no name* wink

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    1. Ok,I love your honesty,you don't know certain words and you asked,honestly,I salute you. Now you know what I would advice mr no name?pick a dictionary and check (no offence),that way,it sticks,when you go through the process of checking for yourself,you remember,than someone telling you the meaning

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    2. I smell sarcasm,just tell mr no name tthe meaning and get on with life

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    3. Word! Better still,maj should tell us what it means,not everyone is at tandem with maj's intellectual capability

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    4. Ehhhh! This is just plain nonsense,undiluted nonsense,pls don't allow me insult maj,so because of a few words you haven't heard of before,he's suddenly so intellectual that some of you can't surpass,ah! This is serious,am not saying maj isn't brilliant but please,stop belittling yourself

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  7. Wow! Maj,nice piece,reading from Adagiri adams 1 was worth it

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  8. What an amazing peiece maj u so know how to get me entertain and am sure u all catch fun

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    Replies
    1. Yes mr jamal,we know its amazing,don't you have a question to ask or like a complimentbased on what part of the story you could relate to or something like that and it's piece,not peiece,thank me later
      Genny from da block

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    2. Hey Genny or whatever you call yourself it ain't your business to tell me what to write or not. Wtf babe looking 4. Attention and hey my piece what a typography error and hey it Compliment based not complimentbase. Pot calling kettle black I don't have to thank you later u just a tacky anonymous

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    3. Stop fighing na,haba,there's nothing wrong with making mistakes,just learn to correct with love and @ mr jamal,no be man with muscle you be?you shouldn't be engaging in war of words with a woman,nada! Now sheath those insultive swords and comment in relation to the text
      Phillips

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  9. Rapids,cliffs,heights,abseiling! These stuffs freak me out,I would literally die out of fear,for youmaj to go through them and survive,my ass to you,you are a MAN

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  10. Oh my,the elephant ride got me cracking,lol,so funny and also packing for the,"oh yeah you can roll your eyes all you want" lol

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  11. So Hamz does really love maj,this is evident when maj plunged several meters into the waterfall in a free dive down,he was genuinely concerned for his brother,awww

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  12. Nice piece maj,am impressed

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  13. Adagiri adams,nice trilogy

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  14. Qt was kind of mute all through,hardly heard him say a word all through,the most vocal brothers r maj hamz then karl,Qt,ba bu

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  15. This is to me,just epic,maj you really wowed me with the ending of his trilogy on adagiri adams

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  16. Nice beginning,juicy body,vivid description,comedic touches,nice climax and cool ending! I love this piece Maj

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  17. Maj,are you sure you actually did all those stunts or a body-double,lol

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  18. Next episode pls maj,plssssssssssssss

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  19. I love the lobster eating part n also the elephant riding part,hilarious

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  20. I love it,you took us on an adventure,I travelled through your eyes

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  21. Of all adventures on kuwda,going on reunions and all,this is my favourite,good work maj

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  22. *laughter* nice one maj,take no bullshit from no family member

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  23. Where the hell is miss sage sweetwater

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  24. Probably already read this episode and moved on

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  25. Wow! This is cool,when is the next adagiri family reunion,I miss those dramas,lol

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  26. Wheting for more maj,wheting for more

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  27. This isn't a road trip,it's a flight to another country,so the image here is wrong

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  28. I think from a literary angle,we could say its a trip,an adventurous trip,so using an image of a road trip doesn't really matter,we get he underlying message

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